Children and Parenting Arrangements
Calm, child-focused advice on where your children will live, the time they spend with each parent, and the decisions that shape their lives. Based in Ascot Vale, acting for families across Melbourne.
When children are part of the separation
When you separate with children, the hardest questions are about them. Where will they live? Will they still see both of you? How will school holidays and Christmas work? What if one of you wants to move?
You may have heard this called child custody, but that term has been phased out. These days the law refers to “parenting arrangements”, which simply means deciding where your children live and how much time they spend with each parent.
We act for parents, grandparents and other carers. The aim is always the same: arrangements that work for your children, reached with as little conflict as possible, and that you understand and can live with.
Is there a 50/50 rule?
No. Australian law has never given either parent a right to equal time. Since changes to the Family Law Act in May 2024, the court also no longer starts from a presumption that parents share major decisions equally.
Every arrangement is decided on what is in the child's best interests. The court looks at:
In practice, many children spend substantial time with both parents. We help you work out what is realistic for your family and what the court is likely to see as in your children's interests.
Do we have to go to court?
Most families do not. Getting there usually has two parts: reaching an agreement, then making it official.
1Reaching an agreement
Negotiation
We put proposals to the other parent or their lawyer and work towards terms you can both accept.
Family dispute resolution
Before applying to court for parenting orders, you must generally try family dispute resolution, a form of mediation with an accredited practitioner. Many services do not allow lawyers to attend, so we prepare you beforehand and advise you between sessions. Some mediations, known as lawyer-assisted family dispute resolution, include lawyers, and then we attend with you. There are exceptions where there is family violence, child abuse or urgency.
2Making it official
A parenting plan
A written agreement you both sign. It is flexible and easy to change, but it is not legally enforceable.
Consent orders
Your agreement is filed with the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia and made into court orders. They are binding and enforceable, and usually made without either of you attending court.
If agreement is not possible, we represent you in court and ask for orders that protect your children's interests.
Moving, travel and passports
Moving away with the children, whether across Melbourne, interstate or overseas, is one of the hardest issues to agree on. The court decides relocation on the children's best interests, weighed against their relationship with the other parent. We help you prepare a proposal that has the best chance of being accepted, or respond to one.
Overseas holidays and passports often need the other parent's consent. Where parenting orders are in place or court proceedings are under way, taking a child out of Australia without written consent or a court order can be a criminal offence.
If you fear a child will be taken overseas without your agreement, the court can place them on the Family Law Watchlist, which alerts police at international departure points. If a child has already been taken or kept from you, we can apply for a recovery order.
Child support and school fees
Services Australia assesses child support using a formula. Parents can also make their own agreement, which can cover private school fees, medical costs and activities.
A binding child support agreement gives certainty, but each parent must get independent legal advice before signing. We draft and review these agreements so they say what you intend.
Family violence intervention orders
A family violence intervention order protects a person, usually a parent, from family violence. Children can be included on the order. Orders are made in the Magistrates' Court of Victoria, and we act both for people applying for an order and for people responding to one.
An intervention order rarely stands alone. It can affect where each of you lives, the time you spend with your children and how your property is divided. We advise on the intervention order and on the family law matters that follow, including parenting arrangements and property settlement, whether or not you have children.
If you are worried about your children's safety
If you believe your children are at risk of harm, the family courts can make urgent parenting orders, and you may not need to attend mediation first. Speak to us as early as you can.
If you or your children are in immediate danger, call 000.
For 24/7 family violence support in Victoria, call Safe Steps on 1800 015 188.
When property is part of it too
Parenting and property are separate legal questions, but they often run side by side, and the arrangements for children can affect a fair property split. We advise on both together.
A family firm, with our names on the door
Conlan Cummings is a family-owned practice. Gerard Conlan, who has practised law since 1971, founded the firm and remains with it as a consultant. His daughter, Elizabeth Cummings, is now the Principal. Their names are on the door, and that is why we take every matter personally.
When your children's future is at stake, you need one experienced lawyer who knows your family's situation. We aim for the same lawyer to work with you from the first conversation to the final orders, and they are easy to reach when you need them.
We are a close-knit practice. You can expect warmth, calm direction and honest advice about where you stand, including when the news is not what you hoped.
Our family law team
Your first conversation will usually be with Raffaella Cossalter, a Senior Associate in our family law team. She qualified as a solicitor in South Africa, moved to Australia in 2006 and joined Conlan Cummings in 2020. She acts in parenting matters of every kind, from arrangements settled by agreement to high-conflict disputes, including choice of school, relocation, international travel and passport applications, and recovery orders. She regularly works alongside independent children's lawyers, and has acted for grandparents seeking time with their grandchildren. Raffaella on LinkedIn
She works alongside our Principal, Elizabeth Cummings, and Kent Jones, a lawyer and senior accountant. Each of them acts in family law matters, so you have the depth of the whole team behind you.
How it works
- Free initial chat.
Call or send an enquiry, and you will speak with one of our lawyers at no cost and with no obligation. If you would like detailed advice after that, we tell you the cost before you book a consultation, in person or by video.
- A clear plan.
We work out what arrangements suit your children and what the law is likely to support.
- Agreement.
We negotiate with the other parent or their lawyer, or prepare you for mediation and attend with you where lawyers are permitted.
- Making it binding.
If you agree, we draft a parenting plan or consent orders so the arrangements are clear.
- Court, if needed.
If agreement is not possible, or there is a safety risk, we represent you in the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia.
- After orders.
Our wills and estates team, Elizabeth Cummings, Simon Curry and Imogen Power, can update your will, including who you nominate as your children's guardian.
Common questions
Is “child custody” still the right term?
Not legally. Australian family law stopped using “custody” and “access” in 1996. The court now makes parenting orders about who the children live with, the time they spend with each parent and who makes major decisions. Many people still say custody, and we know what you mean.
What if we cannot agree on a school?
Choice of school is one of the major long-term decisions parents usually make together. If you cannot agree, family dispute resolution (FDR), a form of mediation, is generally the first step, and the court can decide if needed. School choice often comes up alongside a planned move, and we can advise on both together.
At what age can my child decide where they live?
There is no set age. The court considers a child's views, and gives them more weight as the child gets older and more mature. Children are usually heard through a family report writer or an independent children's lawyer, not in the courtroom. In many cases the court appoints an independent children's lawyer to represent the child's interests, and we work with them throughout.
Can I move interstate or overseas with my children?
If parenting orders are in place and they don’t specifically provide for the move, you need the other parent's agreement or a new order. Even without orders, the other parent can ask the court to stop the move or order the children's return. Get advice before you move, not after.
What if the other parent does not follow the orders?
The court can enforce parenting orders. Depending on what happened, it can order make-up time, attendance at a parenting program, costs or, in serious cases, penalties.
Can grandparents apply for time with children?
Yes. Grandparents and others concerned with a child's care can apply for parenting orders. It is not always straightforward, because the court usually gives priority to the parents, but it does consider the benefit to the children of those relationships. We have acted for grandparents in these applications.
Can parenting orders be changed later?
Parenting plans can be changed by agreement at any time. Final court orders can only be varied by consent between the parents. Where there isn’t consent, the court may consider a change provided circumstances have changed significantly and it is in the child's best interests.
What will it cost?
Your first chat with one of our lawyers is free, with no obligation. If you then want detailed advice, we tell you the cost of a first consultation before you book it. Before any further work starts, you receive a written estimate of costs.
Talk to us in confidence
If you are separating, or think you might be, an early conversation helps you understand your options for your children. Call 03 9375 2616 or send an enquiry, and our reception team will arrange a free initial chat with one of our lawyers. Everything you tell us is confidential. Our office is at 554 Mount Alexander Road, Ascot Vale, and we act for families across Melbourne.
- Free initial chat with a lawyer
- No obligation
- Confidential from the first call
- By phone or video
This page is general information, not legal advice.